“TO YOUNG MEN STARTING IN LIFE”

The first great lesson a young man should learn is―that he knows nothing. The earlier and the more thoroughly this lesson is learnt the better. A home-bred youth, growing up in the light of parental admiration, with everything to foster his vanity and self-esteem, is surprised to find, and often unwilling to acknowledge, the superiority of other people. But he is compelled to learn his own insignificance ; his airs are ridiculed, his blunders exposed, his wishes disregarded, and he is made to cut a very sorry figure, until his self-conceit is abased, and he feels that he knows nothing.
When a young man has thoroughly comprehended the fact that he knows nothing, and that intrinsically he is but of little value, the next lesson is that the world cares nothing about him. He is the subject of no man's overwhelming admiration ; neither petted by the one sex nor envied by the other, he has to take care of himself. He will not be noticed till he becomes noticeable ; he will not become noticeable until he does something to prove that he is of some use to society. No recommendations or introductions will give him this, or ought to give him this ; he must do something to be recognized as somebody.
There is plenty of room for men in the world, but there is no room for idlers. Society is not very particular what a man does, so long as he does something useful to prove himself to he a man ; but it will not take the matter on trust.
There is no surer sign of on unmanly and cowardly spirit than a vague desire for help―a wish to depend, to lean on somebody, and enjoy the fruits of other people's industry. There are multitudes of young men who indulge in dreams of help from some quarter, coming in at a convenient moment, to enable them to secure the success in life which they covet. The vision haunts them of some benevolent old gentlemen, with a pocket full of money, a box full of script, a trunk full of mortgages, and a mind remarkably appreciative of merit and genius, who will, perhaps, give or lend them from one thousand to ten thousand pounds, with which they may commence business, and go on swimmingly. Perhaps he will take a different turn and send them to college, from which they will emerge into ecclesiastical popularity, and rise up to a fat bishopric or deanery, at least.
One of the most painful sights in the world is that of a young man with a strong constitution and a presentable figure, standing with his hands in his pockets longing for help. There are positions in which the most independent spirit may gracefully and gratefully, accept assistance ; may, in fact, as a choice of evils, desire it ; but for man who is able to help himself, to seek help from others, is positive proof that he has been unfortunately trained, and that an indolent bias exists in his character. Lot us not be misunderstood ; we would not inculcate the pride of personal independence, which in its sensitiveness repels the good offices of friends―what we condemn in a young man, is the habit of dependence which makes him anxious to accept as a favor those things which he might readily acquire by his own industrial exertions. A man who willingly receives assistance, especially if he has applied for it, invariably sells himself to his benefactor, unless his patron happens to be a man of sense, who is giving absolutely necessary assistance to one whom he knows to be both sensitive and honorable.
When a young man has ascertained the fact that he knows nothing, and that the world cares nothing about him ; that his success in life must depend on his own exertions ; and that he must look to himself, and not to others, for assistance, he is in a fair position for beginning life.
The next lesson is that of patience. A man must learn to wait as well as to work ; and to be content with those menus of advancement in life which he may use with integrity and honor. Patience is one of the most difficult lessons to learn. It is natural for the mind to look for immediate results.
Let this, then, be understood at starting : that the patient conquest of difficulties which rise in regular and legitimate channels of business and enterprise is not only essential in securing the success which a young man seeks in life, but essential also to that preparation of the mind requisite for the enjoyment of success, and for retaining them when gained. It is the general rule, in all the world, and in all time, that unearned success is a curse.
It is the rule also that the process of earning success shall be the preparation for its conservation and enjoyment. So, day by day, and week by week ; so, month after month, and year after year, WORK ON ; and in that process gain strength and symmetry, nerve and knowledge, that when success, bravely and patiently acquired, shall be yours, it shall find you prepared to receive and to keep it. The development of all your mental and moral qualities in the brave battle of life will amply reward you for the struggle. It will help on make a MAN of you : and give you not only self respect but the respect of your fellows and the public.

Cambridge Chronicle, Volume XIV, Number 33, 13 August 1859
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